Lark

[lark]

About You[/u][/size]
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Username: Lark
Age:19
Characters Listed:Ryou or Bakura (List the characters you have alread on this site, as well as the one you're applying for)
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Above the Surface[/u][/size]
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Character Name:Lark
Character Age:17
Character Gender:female
Character Deck:Legend Deck (with mystical beats and stuff) (What type of deck does your character use? Do not list the cards here.)
Character Appearance: (Must be at LEAST two paragraphs long)
Character History:Lark was always alone ever since childhood, however she remained to have a positive out look on life, she was born in Ireland but moved to Dimino City when she was seven, where she attended an all girl school, she picked up dueling at an young age, and only duels for fun, she isn't that great at it but never the less she enjoys it. She also learned how defend herself with ancient fighting tactics.

She one day, when she was fourteen came across a certain blonde haired Egyptian boy who helped her, she wonders if she would ever see him again, but doesn't dwell on it too much. She is a druid, so she learned earthy spells to heal and help with illness, though she doesn't draw out on this power often due to she may be accused as a witch. Finally she began to attend high school. (the same one as Yugi and everyone else) (Must be at LEAST two paragraphs long)
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Below the Surface[/u][/size]
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Character Personality:Lark is easy going and loves to laugh. She is easy to make laugh, someone could say a random word that she finds funny and she would burst into laughter. Lark is also the type of person to help someone for no reason, even if she didn't know if that person was actually bad.

Lark isn't very smart educationally wise, she had poor marks in school but still tries. Half the time she doesn't understand things, and it makes her discouraged, but she never gives up. She does know alot about ancient things though.... (Must be at LEAST two paragraphs long)
Character Likes:Dueling music art animals and swords.
Character Dislikes:Kaiba
Character Fears:snakes and British accents
Nervous Habits:fidgets
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Diving Deeper[/u][/size]
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Character Stregnths:sword fighting
Character Weaknesses:upper body strength
Character Abilities:healing
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Everything Else[/u][/size]
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Anything Extra:Big fan of rock music (Anything else about your character you would like us to know)
Roleplay Sample:Lark moved swiftly through the damp grey city, her footsteps echoed through the abandoned city. She gripped her handle of her double sided blade and glanced around, her azure irises showed a bit of anxiety, she felt if someone was following, with fast footing she twisted around and blinked, seeing a small puppy, with a sigh of relief she picked it up and smiled. (Please provide a roleplay sample using this character.)
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[Royal Vizier Kris]

Okay, so far you're off to an okay start. But you do need to change a great deal first. I'll start from the top and work my way down.

First with your Characters Listed you put Ryou or Bakura, but you do not own either of those two. In fact, I own them as of right now. So you'll need to remove them from that section above. As as it says in the parenthesis in that, you need to list the character you're applying for as well.

And with your character deck, I won’t to hear more about. The only thing you said was ‘beasts and stuff’ and that’s not at all specific. Go into more details. What kind of beasts? And what other ‘stuff’?

Now with your appearance you cannot simply provide us with a picture. You NEED to have at least two paragraphs for your appearance. And because your picture is far too big, please put that in a link instead of one huge picture.

As far as your History goes, following the logic you've provided us with, your first paragraph only has two sentences because you used more comma's then you did sentences. Now with your second paragraph, you only have one period in the whole thing. So once again following your logic, that's only one sentence. A paragraph needs to be 4-5 sentences long. And while we're still on your appearance, you mentioned she knows magical spells and such but I'm going to have to ask you to remove this. The only way possible we will allow her to have learned magical spells would be if she came from Egypt 3000 years ago, meaning she would have to have been a yami for that to happen and that's not going to be allowed. So take out any mentions of magical spells.

Now with your personality, I'm finally starting to see periods, but there are only three periods in each paragraph. Therefore three sentences each. Once again you need at least 4-5 sentences before we can call it a paragraph. Add more to it. I want to see more details, don't just give me the bare minimum of your character.

Now with your likes, dislikes, fears and fears there is no sort of punctuation mark in there whatsoever. There needs to be at least a comma between everything listed otherwise it makes it look like one whole thing:

ex. Dueling, music, art, animals, and swords.

That's how it should appear. And you only have one dislike, but if you notice, dislikes is plural, therefore you need more then one. At least three.

And now with your roleplay sample which is only one paragraph, your sample does not comply with our rules. Our rules state right now you need at least two or three paragraphs in roleplays. Please edit that accordingly.

And finally, there are way too many grammatical and punctuation error in this profile. Go through a spell check, or something similar to get rid of those problems.

You'll have a week to edit the above. Once done please post a reply saying you're finished.